By: Alexis Evans, Contributor
Photo Credit: Michael Pronzato (The Post)
Fashionably late or just desperately trying to avoid suffering through Bailee Moore's “White Girl Raps Fast” opening act, me and my crew of ladies stumbled up the steps of Mem Aud over an hour late. Spare refreshments wedged between my lady lumps, it’s only a matter of a ticket check, opening of clutch, and a quick tear and I’m in.
The mix of sweat and cheap Victoria’s Secret perfume wafted through the doors, as we saw a sea of girls dressed in bandos, mini skirts and wedges chanting along to the EDM intro “Timeflies! Timeflies! Timeflies!”
But really we all know nobody really cares about Timeflies. You see these ladies heated up their curling irons for one thing and one thing only: Cal Shapiro, a Jewish hunk of man, who’s possibly too attractive (if there even is such a thing) with his white smile, gelled locks and adult Justin Bieber lips. It’s only an added bonus he can sing.
The enormity of the stage almost swallowed up the duo up as they took the stage, but luckily the constant assault of flashing neon lights was enough of distraction. Warning: Don’t bring your epileptic friend. Concert could induce seizures.
Only a true Timeflies fan could appreciate the set list. A perfect mix of mixtape faves, Timeflies’ Tuesday YouTube covers and of course their hit singles “Swoon” and “I Choose You." Sly Cal had a lil' something up his sleeve, though. Armed with a white sheet of paper, he busted out one of his famous freestyles, but better. This baby was an OU edition. The audience roared every time Shapiro referenced something specific to our homey Appalachian nook, such as: OU Crushes, Tony’s Hot Nut, Strouds and Fugitive Fest.
After pretending to end the show, Timeflies retook the stage conveniently finding their most popular songs still left to play, and alas, the true end to the show. There was nothing left for me to do but capture one last duckfaced Snapchat and head to the bars, all the while thinking of all the dirty things I’d do if to Cal if I just so happened to casually bump into him on Court Street.