By: Xavier Veccia, Staff Writer
Thanks a lot, Mom.
What do you mean why am I being snippy with you? You know damn well why. You never throw me any good birthday parties! I mean, pin the tail on the donkey? That's some baby stuff. You know what ACRN had at their party? Freaking indie bands! Where's my indie bands, huh, Mom?
One of them, The Saturday Giant, even did a cover of “Gangsta's Paradise” and “Where is My Mind?” And all I get is grandma singing me “Happy Birthday” on the phone. Off pitch, too, might I add.
And it was at The Union. There were a bunch of people there, just fooling around and having a good time. That's much better than our moldy basement and my cousin with the sticky hands.
Oh, and ACRN even had a dance party. Overwaves a.ka. Kyle Rutherford a.k.a. “The Mixologist” a.k.a. The Mr. 11Fest runner-runner-runner-up played a killer set while a bunch of drunk people danced the night away. And no, Mom, the chicken dance doesn't count as dancing the night away.
You know what, I'm just going to live with ACRN from now on. They know how to party. Unlike you, Mom.