By: Alexis Evans, Contributor
Photo Credit: Michael Pronzato (The Post)
Fashionably
late or just desperately trying to avoid suffering through Bailee Moore's “White Girl Raps
Fast” opening act, me and my crew of ladies stumbled up the steps
of Mem Aud over an hour late. Spare refreshments wedged between my lady lumps,
it’s only a matter of a ticket check, opening of clutch, and a quick tear and
I’m in.
The
mix of sweat and cheap Victoria’s Secret perfume wafted through the doors, as
we saw a sea of girls dressed in bandos, mini skirts and wedges chanting along
to the EDM intro “Timeflies! Timeflies! Timeflies!”
But
really we all know nobody really cares about Timeflies. You see these ladies heated
up their curling irons for one thing and one thing only: Cal Shapiro, a Jewish
hunk of man, who’s possibly too attractive (if there even is such a thing) with
his white smile, gelled locks and adult Justin Bieber lips. It’s only an added
bonus he can sing.
The
enormity of the stage almost swallowed up the duo up as they took the stage,
but luckily the constant assault of flashing neon lights was enough of
distraction. Warning: Don’t bring your epileptic friend. Concert could induce
seizures.
Only
a true Timeflies fan could appreciate the set list. A perfect mix of mixtape
faves, Timeflies’ Tuesday YouTube covers and of course their hit singles
“Swoon” and “I Choose You." Sly Cal had a lil' something up his sleeve, though.
Armed with a white sheet of paper, he busted out one of his famous freestyles,
but better. This baby was an OU edition. The audience roared every time Shapiro
referenced something specific to our homey Appalachian nook, such as: OU Crushes, Tony’s Hot Nut, Strouds and Fugitive Fest.
After
pretending to end the show, Timeflies retook the stage conveniently finding
their most popular songs still left to play, and alas, the true end to the show.
There was nothing left for me to do but capture one last duckfaced Snapchat and
head to the bars, all the while thinking of all the dirty things I’d do if to
Cal if I just so happened to casually bump into him on Court Street.
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